Anyway, on to the fourth lesson from my mission: Christ will turn everything to our good if we are faithful.
This is a lesson that I learned very early on in my mission. I'd been in Lafayette for probably two or three weeks when I began to have some medical issues. I was in a new place, facing symptoms I'd never had before. I was scared that something was seriously wrong with me and that I would have to go home from my mission early. Half scared of going home, half scared because I kind of wanted to go home. Missions aren't easy, and whether everyone admits it or not, in those first few months you're kind of hoping for an excuse to go home.
During this time I was feeling very fearful of the future. What would my family think if I came home early? What would everybody say? What if I went home and turns out I was fine? What if I stayed on my mission and failed? What if I had to train? What if this? What if that?
One morning during personal study my head was so full of these fears, these what ifs, that I couldn't focus. I felt so weighed down. So I decided to turn to one of my favorite scriptures. Romans 8:35-39.
I felt some comfort in those words, but my heart still felt heavy. My eyes slid across the columns and landed on Romans 8:28.
As I read those words I got to thinking, "If I go home . . . if I stay . . . if I train . . ." No matter what the scenario is, no matter what happens, the promise is that all things work together for our good if we love God.
So, thinking about all of these "what ifs" that could happen in my life led me to D&C 122:5-7 where the Lord tells Joseph Smith all of the "ifs" that could happen to him.
"If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea; If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."
After listing everything that could possibly go wrong in Joseph's life, laying out his worst fears, and then capping it off with having the very jaws of hell gape open its mouth wide after him, the Lord gives Joseph the comforting words that these things "shall be for thy good."
That's when it really clicked for me. No matter what "what if" happens, everything will work out for my good the way the Lord intends it to. Whether I die young, whether I get married or not, whether I find a job, whether I go mountain climbing and fall off and lose my legs--it doesn't matter what the scenario is. Whatever happens the Lord is watching over me and can turn ANY situation for my good.
As soon as that clicked there was just a sweet peace that enveloped me. I felt like I could go home and be okay, or I could stay and be okay. And that feeling has stuck with me ever since. The Lord is in control. There's nothing that can happen to us in this life that won't be for our ultimate good. God loves us. He's watching over us. He will give us strength. He will help us grow and learn what we are meant to learn.
That's also when I learned that Satan's greatest tool (at least, in my opinion) is fear. Because if he can get us to focus on the "what ifs" he can paralyze us. Satan can destroy our faith in Jesus Christ and in His promise if he can just get us to be afraid. That's why we have to choose to be faithful. And remember, faith is an action word--it means we have to do something.
Fear is a tool that Satan is constantly using on me. Constantly. And it's something that I have to choose to overcome everyday through my faith in Christ. I'll give you an example. Last week I decided that I was going to go up to Weber State and officially declare my major and minor (English Professional and Technical Writing Major with a Communications Minor for those who are curious). So I picked the day that I was going to go up to campus--Tuesday.
Tuesday morning the sky was gray and it was raining buckets. I looked out the window and thought, "Maybe I should do it another day." But I know myself too well. If I didn't do it that day, it wasn't going to get done. As I was preparing to leave I was just hit with this wave of fear and all of the "what ifs" started in my mind. What if this isn't what I'm supposed to major in? What if I'm heading completely down the wrong path? What if I suck at technical writing? What if I graduate and can't find a job? What if? What if? What if?
So I dropped to my knees and started praying. I told Heavenly Father all of my worries and all of the fears running through my mind. As I prayed and started talking to my Father the fear that was constricting my chest slowly disappeared. Instead, my head was filled with the example of Lehi and his family. The Lord commanded them to go out into the wilderness--into the world. Lehi went, not knowing what was going to happen to them in the wilderness, but knowing that God would provide. And the Spirit taught me that it's no different for me. I'm commanded to go out into the wilderness. It's going to be scary and it's going to be hard, but the Lord will direct my path. But before He can direct me, I need to leave Jerusalem. I have to take some steps of faith.
After saying that prayer I grabbed my keys and drove to campus in the pouring rain before I could change my mind. I declared my major, came home and signed up for the courses I would need, and that was that. After that I felt a lot of peace and knew that I'd overcome a stumbling block. Now, do I know for sure that this is what I'm supposed to be majoring in? No. Do I know for sure that I'll get a job after college? No. But, I do know that no matter what happens, as long as I'm faithful to the Lord, things will turn out fine.
Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a fabulous day! :D
P.S. I wrote this post outside in my backyard. It's a beautiful day!
1 comment:
Here's to hoping you never fall off a cliff and lose your legs.
I agree fear is a powerful tool of Satan, right up there with indifference. If he can get us to think nothing matters that much, then we won't do that much.
I like that you stopped and took a moment to pray when you started feeling overwhelmed. I don't think I stop to do that enough.
It reminds me of that song by M.C. Hammer, We Got to Pray Just to Make it Today (yes, I just quoted Hammer--Stop! Hammertime). Did you ever notice one of the background songs in Dr. Mario sounds like that song? But I digress... Praying good, fear bad.
Congrats on choosing a major, too. Why am I not surprised it has something to do with writing? You'll do great!
Post a Comment