Lesson 4: Christ will turn everything to our good if we are faithful.

First, I think some apologies are in order. Sorry that I'm so sporadic about posting these lessons. I've been home for a month and a half and I'm only on lesson four? Pathetic! So, I decided that I'm going to post something on the blog every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It may not be a lesson, but it will be something. I figure telling you guys about it will help me stay accountable. So, please help me stay accountable and bug me if I don't post something. :)

Anyway, on to the fourth lesson from my mission: Christ will turn everything to our good if we are faithful.

This is a lesson that I learned very early on in my mission. I'd been in Lafayette for probably two or three weeks when I began to have some medical issues. I was in a new place, facing symptoms I'd never had before. I was scared that something was seriously wrong with me and that I would have to go home from my mission early. Half scared of going home, half scared because I kind of wanted to go home. Missions aren't easy, and whether everyone admits it or not, in those first few months you're kind of hoping for an excuse to go home.

During this time I was feeling very fearful of the future. What would my family think if I came home early? What would everybody say? What if I went home and turns out I was fine? What if I stayed on my mission and failed? What if I had to train? What if this? What if that?

One morning during personal study my head was so full of these fears, these what ifs, that I couldn't focus. I felt so weighed down. So I decided to turn to one of my favorite scriptures. Romans 8:35-39.

I felt some comfort in those words, but my heart still felt heavy. My eyes slid across the columns and landed on Romans 8:28.

As I read those words I got to thinking, "If I go home . . . if I stay . . . if I train . . ." No matter what the scenario is, no matter what happens, the promise is that all things work together for our good if we love God.

So, thinking about all of these "what ifs" that could happen in my life led me to D&C 122:5-7 where the Lord tells Joseph Smith all of the "ifs" that could happen to him.

"If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea; If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

After listing everything that could possibly go wrong in Joseph's life, laying out his worst fears, and then capping it off with having the very jaws of hell gape open its mouth wide after him, the Lord gives Joseph the comforting words that these things "shall be for thy good."

That's when it really clicked for me. No matter what "what if" happens, everything will work out for my good the way the Lord intends it to. Whether I die young, whether I get married or not, whether I find a job, whether I go mountain climbing and fall off and lose my legs--it doesn't matter what the scenario is. Whatever happens the Lord is watching over me and can turn ANY situation for my good.

As soon as that clicked there was just a sweet peace that enveloped me. I felt like I could go home and be okay, or I could stay and be okay. And that feeling has stuck with me ever since. The Lord is in control. There's nothing that can happen to us in this life that won't be for our ultimate good. God loves us. He's watching over us. He will give us strength. He will help us grow and learn what we are meant to learn.

That's also when I learned that Satan's greatest tool (at least, in my opinion) is fear. Because if he can get us to focus on the "what ifs" he can paralyze us. Satan can destroy our faith in Jesus Christ and in His promise if he can just get us to be afraid. That's why we have to choose to be faithful. And remember, faith is an action word--it means we have to do something.

Fear is a tool that Satan is constantly using on me. Constantly. And it's something that I have to choose to overcome everyday through my faith in Christ. I'll give you an example. Last week I decided that I was going to go up to Weber State and officially declare my major and minor (English Professional and Technical Writing Major with a Communications Minor for those who are curious). So I picked the day that I was going to go up to campus--Tuesday.

Tuesday morning the sky was gray and it was raining buckets. I looked out the window and thought, "Maybe I should do it another day." But I know myself too well. If I didn't do it that day, it wasn't going to get done. As I was preparing to leave I was just hit with this wave of fear and all of the "what ifs" started in my mind. What if this isn't what I'm supposed to major in? What if I'm heading completely down the wrong path? What if I suck at technical writing? What if I graduate and can't find a job? What if? What if? What if?

So I dropped to my knees and started praying. I told Heavenly Father all of my worries and all of the fears running through my mind. As I prayed and started talking to my Father the fear that was constricting my chest slowly disappeared. Instead, my head was filled with the example of Lehi and his family. The Lord commanded them to go out into the wilderness--into the world. Lehi went, not knowing what was going to happen to them in the wilderness, but knowing that God would provide. And the Spirit taught me that it's no different for me. I'm commanded to go out into the wilderness. It's going to be scary and it's going to be hard, but the Lord will direct my path. But before He can direct me, I need to leave Jerusalem. I have to take some steps of faith.

After saying that prayer I grabbed my keys and drove to campus in the pouring rain before I could change my mind. I declared my major, came home and signed up for the courses I would need, and that was that. After that I felt a lot of peace and knew that I'd overcome a stumbling block. Now, do I know for sure that this is what I'm supposed to be majoring in? No. Do I know for sure that I'll get a job after college? No. But, I do know that no matter what happens, as long as I'm faithful to the Lord, things will turn out fine.

Thanks for reading! I hope you all have a fabulous day! :D

P.S. I wrote this post outside in my backyard. It's a beautiful day!

Lesson 3: You can't convert anyone past your own conversion.

This is something that you hear a lot in the mission field-- you can't convert anyone past your own conversion.

I think first we'd better talk about what conversion is. If you're converted you not only believe the gospel of Jesus Christ is true, but that knowledge changes you. It says in True to the Faith that "[Conversion] is a change in our very nature. It is such a significant change that the Lord and His prophets refer to it as a rebirth, a change of hear, and a baptism of fire."

Conversion comes through applying the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. We build our faith in Jesus Christ and His gospel by praying, studying the scriptures, going to church, magnifying our callings, etc. And the more we learn of Jesus Christ the more we want to follow Him. We recognize changes need to be made in our lives. So we make the changes. We stop doing what is wrong and start doing what is right. We rely on the Lord to help us make these changes. We make and keep covenants or promises with God. We listen to and follow the Spirit. And we repeat the process. By living the Gospel of Jesus Christ we become converted. Soon we find that we aren't just going through the motions, but that we are becoming like the Savior.

Conversion is not a superficial change. In his talk "The Atonement and Faith" Elder Dallin H. Oaks talks about this mighty change that must take place.

"We tend to think of the results of repentance as simply cleansing us from sin, but that is an incomplete view of the matter. A person who sins is like a tree that bends easily in the wind. On a windy and rainy day, the tree bends so deeply against the ground that the leaves become soiled with mud, like sin. If we focus only on cleaning the leaves, the weakness in the tree that allowed it to bend and soil its leaves may remain. Similarly, a person who is merely sorry to be soiled by sin will sin again in the next high wind. The susceptibility to repetition continues until the tree has been strengthened.

When a person has gone through the process that results in what the scriptures call “a broken heart and a contrite spirit,” the Savior does more than cleanse that person from sin. He gives him or her new strength. That strengthening is essential for us to realize the purpose of the cleansing, which is to return to our Heavenly Father. To be admitted to His presence, we must be more than clean. We must also be changed from a morally weak person who has sinned into a strong person with the spiritual stature to dwell in the presence of God. We must, as the scripture says, become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord” (Mosiah 3:19)."

Whoa. . . That is pretty intense, but it's true. Conversion is the process of strengthening our spirits through the Atonement of Jesus Christ until we will eventually be as He is. This is the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ! Lasting change and lasting happiness are possible because of Jesus Christ. But it involves sacrifice. It's hard. It's not comfortable.

Is it any wonder that we can't convert anyone past our own conversion? If I'm not making these changes, if I'm not digging into the depths of my soul every day to call upon the Savior to help me become more like Him, how could I possibly ask someone else to do the same? If repentance to me is simply cleaning the leaves, that's all repentance is going to be to those I try and teach. But if I'm truly repenting and changing and becoming like Christ every day through the Atonement, then when I invite others to change they feel it. This is what the Lord means in Doctrine & Covenants 11:21:

"Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men."

On my mission we were teaching a woman named Brynisha. She is awesome and has such an amazing family! But Brynisha expressed to us that she had some anger issues. It was the craziest things because I never saw her as an angry person, but at the time she started expressing this weakness to us, I was having trouble controlling my temper. I was struggling with feelings of anger and frustration. So as I studied and prayed for myself and for Brynisha we were able to change together. As Brynisha started reading the Book of Mormon she recognized she wasn't as angry. As I started studying the Book of Mormon and reading it before bed, I wasn't as angry.

Ultimately, our conversion is our responsibility. I can't be converted for you and you can't be converted for me. But I know that as we strive to become more converted to Jesus Christ through faith, repentance, making & keeping covenants that we will have the Spirit of God with us and God will use us to help others in their process of conversion.

So, this week I'm going to be making some changes to help me become more converted to the Lord and I would invite you all to do the same. :)

I'll end off with the song I'm listening to at this very moment--Savior, Redeemer of My Soul by Dallyn Vail Bayles. Have a great week!

Lesson 2: Happiness comes from the inside--it's a choice.

The second lesson I learned on my mission is this: Happiness comes from the inside--it's a choice.

This is a concept I think we're all familiar with, but it never really sunk into me until my mission. When I lived for 18 months without watching TV, or surfing the internet, or getting on Facebook, or listening to music I like, I learned something very important about myself. I'm not defined by what's around me. I'm not defined by the music I like, what I do for a living, the TV shows I watch, or how well I do in Mario Kart (but let's be honest, I'm kind of a boss at Mario Kart. ;D). And I was happy without those things. I lived a full & happy 18 months without those things.

True & lasting happiness comes from living true principles. Prayer. Studying the scriptures. Serving others. Seeking truth. These are all things that bring happiness. And there are countless others as well. But, each of these things is a choice. I can choose to forgive someone who's done me wrong. I can choose to pray. I can choose to have faith. I can choose to be happy, no matter what my external circumstances are.

As a missionary there are plenty of situations & people that could make you miserable if you let them. People you love & care about suddenly say they don't want you coming over anymore. Having plans fall through. People you don't know mocking the beliefs that are most precious to you. Yeah, there's a lot to get you down. And that's how it is in the world--if you don't believe it, go & watch the news. (20 bonus points for whoever names that Children's Hymn!) ;) Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that could get us down.

But the Lord has commanded us to "Be of good cheer." (John 16:33, D&C 61:36, D&C 68:6, etc.) There are seriously TONS of references where the Lord tells His people to Be of Good Cheer.

I wrote this quote from President Thomas S. Monson in the front of my Preach My Gospel, from his talk in the October 2013 General Conference. It captures what I think about being of good cheer and choosing happiness and faith.

"The history of the Church in this, the dispensation of the fulness of times, is replete with the experiences of those who have struggled and yet who have remained steadfast and of good cheer. The reason? They have made the gospel of Jesus Christ the center of their lives. This is what will pull us through whatever comes our way. We will still experience difficult challenges, but we will be able to face them, to meet them head-on, and to emerge victorious."

If we choose to have the gospel at the center of our lives, if we choose to have faith in Jesus Christ, if we choose to be steadfast and be of good cheer, we will emerge victorious! Isn't it awesome? :) I know that this is true.

Now, I just want to say that choosing happiness doesn't mean that we're never going to feel sad or disappointed or have bad days. I know that depression is a real issue. But, I also know that as we move forward with the language of faith and of hope and hold to the good instead of the bad that we will find happiness. That happiness may not come in this life. We may never be entirely rid of certain demons or thoughts or attitudes until after this life. But Heavenly Father promises that as we have faith in Him and keep His commandments we will have peace. You can still be sad and at peace. You can still be depressed and have peace.

I want to leave you all with this wonderful talk from President Monson to check out. :) My challenge is to be of good cheer. Choose to be happy now. :)

"Be of Good Cheer" Talk

P.S. Sometimes the way we can choose to be happy is by choosing to go get ice cream. Just sayin'. ;)

Why being home is WEIRD and AWESOME all at the same time

Hi Everybody!

I'm working on getting lesson number 2 up, you can look forward to that in the next couple of days. But today, I wanted to talk about why being home from my mission is WEIRD, but also why it's AWESOME!

First, the WEIRD!

1-Culture shock: You mean people don't spend all of their time visiting others or studying the gospel every waking hour of the day? And after you do visit with someone you don't share a spiritual thought or say a prayer? Weird! Suddenly I have all the time in the world & nothing that seems very fulfilling to fill it. It seems like the world has all of these inside jokes from 2013 that I never heard. What does the fox say? Huh?

2- I have to find out where the new Erin fits into old Erin's world. Figuring out how to move forward. Trying not falling back into old habits (like sleeping until 2 pm . . . Hasn't happened yet & that's the way I'd like to keep it! Haha). Keeping the good from my mission & realizing that the new me might not always please people who liked the old me.

3- Not calling myself or being known by others as Sister Guy.

4- Having to relearn things that used to be so easy (like where stuff in the house is, how to use an iPad, how to work the oven, etc.)

5- Being alone--exhilarating & SCARY!

6- Not being as good at my talents as I was before. But I've gained more talents & the old ones just need polishing up. :)

Now, why being home is AWESOME!

1- Being with my family.

2- Getting to rediscover my relationships.

3- Realizing how much I DID grow in those 18 months.

4- Being led by the Spirit to know how to apply my mission in my life.

5- K-pop! ;) Allison was so disappointed when I realized I still like K-pop. Haha.

6- Wearing pants!

7- Getting to read non church related books.

8- Unlocking my heart! ;)

9- Getting to help people here with the skills I learned there.

10- I'm confident! :D

11- Movies!

12- Having others notice a difference in me.

13- Getting to write again!

14- Learning how to use an iPad.