The Dream

Remember how I haven't blogged in a REALLY long time. . . . Yeah, sorry about that. I've just been making some life decisions. No biggie.

It feels like I change my mind about my future every other day. And I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I'm a dreamer. Being a dreamer is kind of like being a ninja, fairy, and princess all wrapped into one. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for your dreams and sometimes to even figure out what those dreams are.

I'll let y'all in on a little secret. For a while I gave up the dream of being an author. While I never formally admitted this to myself, it happened. For about the past year and a half I have hardly written anything. I don't know what happened exactly. But the thought of writing scared me. I just had this feeling that whatever I wrote would turn out awful. I dropped several projects right in the middle and never really wrote anything except for school assignments.

But then last semester I took that notebooks and journal writing class. I started keeping a commonplace book and let myself write without any worries of the consequences. No one could see what I was writing unless I decided to share it. I feel like this class started to turn me around in my writing. Writing became fun again, though I still get anxious and freeze up when I think about others reading my work. I finally gave myself permission to write what I want without thinking or worrying about others.

I really want to write the stories I have inside of myself. And even in no one ever reads them, I want to give it my best. But it's going to take a lot of work. I've realized that now, more than I have previously. Right now I'm working on The Elements series again. The whole thing needs revamping, but I have ideas that will make the story even better than it was before. And I have ideas for my other stories I started as well that I'm excited about.

So, let the work begin. And I know that in the end all the revision, editing, plotting, etc. might be for nothing in the eyes of those around me. But that's okay. Because this is MY dream and I don't need anyones permission to pursue it.