Hi all! Not much has been going on the past month since I last posted. I've just been pretty busy with school and work and life in general. School is starting to wind down--there's only 3 weeks left--so I have a lot of final projects and stuff due.
I feel like this week was a turning point in my life. I can't really explain why. It's not like something huge and monumental and life changing happened. But I feel like I came to a crossroads and was faced with two paths--one that would keep me close to the Lord and one that would start a downhill spiral into self destructive behavior and darkness. And I feel confident in saying that I chose the Lord, thanks to his tender mercies towards me.
This past Sunday the speakers said exactly what I needed to hear as I was facing this decision. It was like that meeting was just for me. I could feel the love of my Savior encircling me. All the self-loathing thoughts that had been poisoning me were pushed out and instead I was able to see myself how the Lord sees me. He whispered of my worth and his love for me. I realized that Heavenly Father heard my prayers and knew how I was feeling and he knew the exact way to speak to me.
In my life, every turning point has been marked by a song. This is one way the Lord speaks to me and gives me comfort. My junior year it was Jon Scmidt's version of "Baptism Hymn." Then it was "In Dreams" from Lord of the Rings by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. And after that it was "Ever, Ever After" by Carrie Underwood, followed by "Go the Distance" by Michael Bolton. Now, the song that's marked this turning point is another by Carrie Underwood called "There's a Place for Us."
After sacrament meeting Sunday I left because I was feeling sick. So I curled up on the couch downstairs and watched the Chronicles of Narnia the 1st and 3rd movies. Those movies are so inspirational and I felt like the Spirit was there to edify me and teach me as I watched them. Then at the end of the 3rd movie, "There's a Place for Us" came on and just capped off everything I'd been feeling perfectly.
The lyrics go:
There's a place out there for us,
More than just a prayer,
Or anything you've ever dreamed of.
So when you feel like giving up
Cause you don't fit in down here
Fear is crashing in,
Close your eyes and take my hand.
We can be the Kings and Queens
Of anything if we believe.
It's written in the stars that shine above.
A world where you and I belong,
Where faith and love will keep us strong.
Exactly who we are is just enough.
There's a place for us.
When the water meets the sky,
Where your heart is free
And hope comes back to life.
When these broken hands are whole again,
We'll find what we've been waiting for.
We were made for so much more.
I LOVE these lyrics, because they're so true. There is a place out there for us--for me. A place where I fit perfectly. A place that isn't just a dream or a wish or a fantasy. It's where my Heavenly Father is and where my Savior is. It's where my family is and my friends. And this past week I did feel like giving up, but the Lord took my hand and I was able reminded me that he loves me for who I am. That I am a beloved daughter of God with infinite potential. It's so important for me to remember this and be reminded of it often.
Satan would have us forget who we really are. He'd rather us focus on the here and now instead of the eternal. He wants us to be frustrated and doubt ourselves, because then we inevitably begin to doubt God and the power of our Savior. But we should never forget who we are and what our purpose on this earth is. I've been given talents and capabilities to help those around me. I feel like I'm just beginning to really understand the affect I can have on others and how I can best utilize my talents. It's an amazing feeling. :)
I feel so much hope and joy knowing that my Savior loves me. Thanks to his sacrifice and his selfless love, there is no limit to the good things I can do. There are so many amazing blessings available in my life because of Jesus Christ. I have the opportunity every day to repent and change to become better than I am. And I'm grateful for my family and my friends, but most of all for my Savior for keeping me strong with love and faith. This was just an experience that made me feel so loved and remembered by the Lord, which is exactly what I needed.
So, friends, enjoy the song that has marked this turning point in my life and have a fantabulous week. :)
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